ClubFEM NYC  aims to foster an environment where Dominant Women and submissive men can interact without fear of judgment or consent issues.
  • Do not touch anyone without their explicit consent. This goes for both parties and munches, Dommes and subs.
  • We expect vanilla behavior in a vanilla environment. This means no exposing, touching, or licking of the nipples or genitals – yours or someone else’s.
  • Our men are submissive but they are not community property, even if they’re unowned.
  • Treat all submissive male guests with the same respect you’d give a fellow Domme. Humiliation and objectification can only happen with his consent.
  • Do not expect the subs to perform service functions for you unless that has been explicitly negotiated or is in the context of an event, like a tea party, where roles are clearly delineated.

Virtual Event Rules

  • NO nudity. All attendees must be clothed.
  • NO lurkers. Cameras must be turned on (we must see your face) and you must engage.
  • NO talking over others because then no one is heard.
  • NO background noise. Turn off your TVs and radios. Please be mindful of activities that could create additional noise, such as shuffling papers.
  •  Mute your microphone when you are not speaking.
  • NO sharing personal information on video chat. We advise you to use private chat or FetLife to directly message an individual.
  • NO means No. If an attendee indicates that they don’t wish a private message. Cease and desist immediately!
  • NO solicitation for clients.


Party Rules

ClubFEM members agree to abide by the following ClubFEM protocol at parties and events:
  • ClubFEM members agree to be in the Female Dominant and male submissive roles exclusively at ClubFEM parties and events.
  • There is no requirement for Dommes or subs to engage in BDSM play (scenes). Although some may choose to play, many people attend parties to socialize and learn techniques by watching others.
  •  Males are to behave respectfully to all Females at all times.
  • All ClubFEM slaves are expected to bring an attitude of servitude and submissiveness and should be willing to serve refreshments and treat the Women respectfully.
  •  Slaves are not obligated to engage in any form of play without consent and negotiation.
  •  Males are to address Females as Mistress, Ma’am or other proper titles as designated by that Female.
  • Dominant attire for Females may include fetish wear, leather, latex, PVC, lingerie, and/or black clothing. Basically, anything that makes a Woman feel wonderful.
  • Males in a relationship should wear what their Domme wants them to wear.
  • Single males should wear either a formal tux, respectful casual wear (no jeans and sneakers) or fetish clothing such as the ClubFEM slave uniform (the bow tie collar and black jock strap on our Links Page). Sissy service attire is also welcome if the males are serving. A leash, wrist and ankle cuffs are optional.
  • Females are to refrain from touching or commanding a personally collared slave without his Owner’s permission.
  • Males who wish to be available to any Domme for service or BDSM play scenes will wear a purple ribbon on their collar. However, wearing a purple ribbon does not obligate a slave to engage in play nor does it negate the need to negotiate a scene.
  • The house safeword is “Red.”
  • If you are observing someone else’s scene, watch respectfully without interjecting.
  • Never assume all participants in a scene are on the same page. If you are invited into a scene, seek confirmation from all parties before joining.
  • Don’t touch anyone’s body or toys without permission.
  • Clean up after yourselves.
  • Spray down furniture after using it.
  • No naked body parts on the “regular” furniture -couches, chairs, tables-use a chuck as a barrier.
  • Use barriers when there is a chance that there might be bodily fluids of any kind.


  • Everyone is expected to act in a safe, sane and consensual manner at all ClubFEM parties and events.
  • Impairment by alcohol or other legal drugs is not permitted. People who are impaired will be asked to leave. It is strongly recommended that males refrain from drinking alcohol at ClubFEM parties.
  • No illegal substances are allowed at ClubFEM parties and events.
  • No photography or cameras are allowed at ClubFEM parties.
  • Safewords or gestures should be used at all ClubFEM sponsored activities. Suggested safewords are: “green” = within limits “yellow” = close to limits (proceed carefully) “red” = over limits (stop immediately).
  • Safety is the number one concern, particularly when with a new submissive.
  • Other personal safewords may be used as long as they are communicated beforehand. When it is not possible to use a safeword, some type of gesture should be agreed upon.

We believe the rules are self-explanatory and not open to debate.
If you have a specific question please contact the Head Mistress.